Joyful Juggling: Intentionally Creating Balance and Joy in Motherhood, Career, and Life — with Dr. Miranda Walichowski

Leanna McGrath  0:08  

Welcome to the executive coach for moms podcast where we support women who are attempting to find balance and joy, while simultaneously leading people at work and at home. I'm your host Leanna Lasky, McGrath, former tech exec turned full time mom, recovering perfectionist and workaholic, and certified executive coach.

Leanna McGrath  0:30  

Hi, everyone. Welcome back to the show. Today I'm sharing a conversation I had with Dr. Miranda Walichowski. Miranda does it all. Literally, she runs her own business. She's a mom of five. She's a professor, a devoted wife and woman of faith and a competitive power lifter. And I think what strikes me most is that she's also an extremely joyful person. She does all of this and really balances it while actually enjoying her experience. I think that's really been my goal for myself. And also a huge goal that I have for this podcast is really to help women who are doing all the things and who are successful on paper also feel successful in their own lives. You heard that play out in my coaching conversation last week with Allie. And that's what I do all the time in my coaching business, because so many women who are really successful or appear really successful end up feeling like they're not at all. And so I can relate to that. Because when I was running a company full time and trying to be a mom, for my baby, do everything else, I was just feeling like I was so successful on paper, and to the outside world. But on the inside, I didn't feel happy. I was constantly beating myself up and I just wasn't enjoying my overall life. Of course, I had happy days. But overall, I wasn't feeling good about what I was doing. But I think the reality is, is that we have this one life to live and we get to decide for ourselves how we want to live it, we get to decide whether we're going to continue making life easier for everyone around us while we suffer or if we're going to take the reins of our own lives and ensure that we're enjoying it too. At the end of the day that power lies in our hands. And what I love about this conversation with Miranda is that she has found a way to do so many things while still being joyful and enjoying the ride. She's extremely successful on paper, and she has a positive impact on everyone around her. And she's also incredibly diligent about prioritizing her own needs. She shares how it hasn't always been this easy for her. But she also shares a lot of the different components that allow her to find joy while getting everything done. So if you're struggling from overwhelmed from all of your many responsibilities, I really hope that this conversation inspires you and gives you hope and demonstrates the possibilities. I know it was incredibly inspiring for me as I continue to work toward creating more balance and joy in my life. Enjoy!

Leanna McGrath  3:15  

Hi, everyone. Today I have a very special guest, Miranda Walichowski, and I'm very excited to have Miranda here. She's a fellow coach. And she's an educator and a mom. And I am so excited for you all to hear from her today. So Miranda, can you introduce yourself to everyone listening? 

Miranda Walichowski  3:36  

Yes. So I'm Miranda Walichowski. And I am a professor at Texas A&M University in the Department of Educational Psychology. In 2015, I met coaching and absolutely fell in love with that as a support modality. So I was searching for ways of how do you support and develop people without just giving them more information and more to do. And during that process of exploring, I landed on coaching and it just really resonated with me. I remember the first time I saw our instructor deliver a coaching engagement or coaching session. I just felt like that's what I meant to do in the world, like all of my skills and life experience and interest and values. And everything just kind of culminated in that moment. And I said, I want to be able to do that for others in the world. And so that's how the professor becomes a leadership executive team coach in that process. And in addition, I am married, we have five children, ranging from age 25 to age 10. So the youngest just turned 10 This month, and apparently it was a big pivotal moment to no longer be in single digits. So apparently her siblings would tease her about being in single digits. And so now being in double digits is a thing. I had no idea. And then I also have my own coaching practice, and it is called human architects. And so I had my own practice near New coaching and consulting where I worked with executives, leaders and their teams. And so through human architecting, I have partnered with someone so that we could scale that and be able to serve more teams and more groups. Because it's time like just based on what we're seeing in society, like the world needs more. And, and we're hoping we can serve in a bigger way. And then on my free time, I am a competitive power lifter. And so that is a very special time for me. And despite all the busyness I carve out that time, I try to protect that time and just remind myself that it gives me so much more than it takes. And that's about it. 

Miranda Walichowski  5:42  

That's all. I love how you're like I'm a professor and also a mother and a wife. And I have my own coaching practice. Oh, and also, I'm a power lifter my

Leanna McGrath  5:57  

time. How do you do it all? You probably get that question a lot. How do you manage it all and balance it all, and also kind of remain joyful and enjoy it with everything going on? 

Miranda Walichowski  6:10  

Yeah, so I often say that. One of my biggest complaints is that God made life interesting, because I do find myself going down many rabbit holes of interest of like, Oh, if only I had the time I would do this. Like I took up cello lessons, and I took up tennis at one point, etc. So just just exploring and engaging. But I think the way to do it all is not to do it all at once. And not to do it all well, and not to do it all to its fullest extent. And so just kind of where what is one state of life, and then being able to make adjustments for that. And then doing some things that are just good enough. And it's really about questioning self of what really matters in this. And then just pursuing that and giving oneself grace. So for example, obviously, I can't parent to the degree that a full time parent would. And that's just a reality. And so then what matters in my parenting, instead of always beating myself up and wondering, Am I doing enough? What am I not doing? Not comparing myself to others? I just go to the source. And I check in with my children, like how are you doing? What is something that if I did differently, would help you feel more loved, would help life be easier for you or whatever. And the things they asked for are so simple. And so it's easy for me to deliver on that. And then just to trust, you know that as long as I'm reflecting and trying to improve as a parent, and I'm checking in with a source, then I need to trust that that's working. And so the same resonates and all other aspects of life. So in marriage, and business, also asking myself, like, what is it that I should be doing? What is going to have the greatest return? What is the greatest need that we need to do? And how could the other things kind of take a second place or third place or whatever, and just drive for that for now and be at peace? And then that is going to, you know, be good enough? And so again, you're checking in and you're reflecting the same thing? Am I lifting? You know, so what, what do I need to do, obviously, I would love to train more, I train four days a week and just have peace with that, like I'm older, I need the recovery time, I can focus in the time that I'm there not compare myself to the type of training that others might be doing that are younger than I am. And so I think it's just that mindful approach to at all of what would it mean to be good at this or good enough, finding out what that is, and then just driving that and letting go of all the rest of the chatter, you know, that tells you it's not enough or you're not good enough? Etc. 

Leanna McGrath  8:49  

That's so interesting, because I think many of the women I coach, there's almost this feeling of being not enough. And that is measured by not being able to do everything to the fullest extent, especially because I think parenting is added to our lives at some point in our lives, right. It's not like integrated into how we work, and how we live our lives from the early days of our adulthood necessarily, right, especially with kids a little bit later. And so it's like, how do I do everything I was doing before. And now I want to do everything that this new thing entails and to its fullest extent. I guess what I'm curious about is, it sounds like you have a really good kind of system of prioritizing and making sure that you're focusing on the highest impact activities in each in each different aspect of your life and each different thing that's important to you, but how do you let go of that and still feel okay about your contribution, still feel good about it?

Miranda Walichowski  9:53  

I think at the end, we're all going to have regrets about something and so it's choosing what I'm okay to regret and what I'm not okay to regret. And so just accepting that that's part of life. I often say like, I wish there were multiple me's because I know exactly how I deploy them every day. But there isn't, there's just one. And so just reminding myself, like, you know, you get to live this very rich life, and get to engage in so many different pieces. And so you can expend your energy, you know, criticizing that, etc. Or you can expend your energy and just engaging with it. And regrets are going to be a part of it, have, I could have done that better, I could have done that differently. And so just accepting that, like, I don't think anyone is exonerated from that, because everything is a choice. Whenever you engage in something, you're saying no to several other things. So it's just part of life. And so just deciding what am I willing to not regret? And what am I okay to end up regretting? I'm not saying that I live by that daily and make all decisions by that if I could, that would be amazing. But when life is going well, it's usually because I'm in alignment with that. And when I get off course, it's usually because I'm not aligned with that.

Leanna McGrath  11:10  

What do you have any suggestions or tips or just things that you do? When you do find yourself out of alignment with that, like what brings you back? 

Miranda Walichowski  11:21  

It's really my core values. And so that's something that we learned about through coaching, like, what are our core values, and I always thought that that sounded kind of, I don't know, frivolous or woowoo. And I thought, like, you know, my executives and leaders are not going to want to go in that space of more values. But it's actually almost how I start every coaching engagement, because those values are driving who you are, who resonates with you, who maybe you don't align with, when you feel in alignment, when an environment is working well for you, and when it's not. And so just going back to those and being able to make decisions on what needs to happen next, based on those so like my top one is, and it makes it easy, because it's growth. So that's my top core value. And so being able to ask myself, in this moment, what is going to provide that opportunity to grow. And when I'm not feeling in alignment, it's when I'm stagnant, and I don't feel like I have something to look forward to or challenge or grow. And so then it's like, okay, how do you invite that in? Another thing is just love. And so if I'm getting so busy, that I don't feel like I'm giving love to the people that matter most. And then that definition of what love is, you know, various from what it looks like with my husband, and then my children and students, and then clients. And if I'm not there, then something's missing, it's usually having to take care of myself in some way that I'm overextending myself not sleeping enough, maybe even my husband knows. So I was off from training last week. And so we were discussing, like, my coach said, I couldn't scale back, or I could completely take the time off. And he said, Well, you know, we'd like to have a pleasant week. So maybe you don't want to go completely off, and still make time to go to the gym. And so it's like the family knows, like, oh, no, don't take any time off. And so there's been times where I feel like, that's my respite or my escape, and maybe on a Saturday, I'll just stay there longer, and then just do my mobility and my cool down and warm up and just really enjoy and tell myself, like you've earned being in this space. Not that you have to, but you've earned it. And not only that, it's an investment for your future. And look, what you get to do look at how you get to play as an adult, because I consider that play. And so that kind of redirects me and then I'm able to re engage in life. So it's just a constant assessment, and conversation with that inner self. And again, prioritizing and using core values as a barometer for that.

Leanna McGrath  13:49  

Yeah, and it sounds like you also kind of have people around you who are helping to support you. And, and so it's not that you have to lean on yourself 100% And make sure that you are staying in alignment, but you also have people who are helping you along that way as well. 

Miranda Walichowski  14:06  

Oh, my goodness, yes, that's my wealth are my relationships and the people that I have. So I have a spiritual coach, every now and then I engage with a coach as well for personal development or professional development. I have my powerlifting coach, and then my family in different ways, my father is so immensely helpful. So it just kind of pulls me out of mines whenever I get into something, whether it's transportation or helping out with the children in some way. And so it's quite a community that I get to leverage and I do acknowledge, you know, the strength that is there because of that. So there's no way that I would be able to do this without that my business partner as well. Like if I'm inundated or in a bad space, and it's like I need to take, you know, this afternoon off or whatever, gracefully she just picks it up. And so I think that's he those relationships absolutely. Absolutely, leveraging in any way and not being afraid. And when I'm coaching individuals, they often will not seek for help, because they don't want to impose on others. And so my reframe on that is, when I have felt the happiest in life most fulfilled, is when I've been giving of myself, either, you know, in my energy or my time, or my skill sets, or wisdom or whatever it or just even presents to someone, I don't know that anything beats that feeling. And so when we don't ask for others for help, we're denying them of that opportunity to feel as fulfilled as we feel when we are giving them. And so obviously, I'm mindful, and is this the right time and quite aligning? What I want to ask of them from what comes natural to them. So like, even one of my daughters, she's 11, sometimes I will recruit her to help me track things. So I track things like my protein intake, my sleep, how many hours I've worked, and, etc. And I wouldn't ask the other children to do that, because they wouldn't like to, but she loves it. And so she'll come in, in the evening, and let's do your tracking mom had to do on these different metrics, and she records it for me and things like that. So it's small, but it's huge, because I know I'm going to meet with her. And she's my accountability, buddy. And she enjoys it. And I want to also model that I don't have to be perfect. She'll even say, like, Mom, you hit this metric three days in a row like that to bed on time. And you're reading is still not coming along. But that's okay, you'll get there. So it's modeling not beating yourself up, but also pushing yourself, you know, and so kind of that nice balance. And so she's seeing me wrestle with that, like, okay, my mom struggles with that. And she just kind of keeps going, you know, picks up the next day and tries better. So I think there's just so much in there are that we learn from each other? Yeah, as we're engaging and supporting each other. 

Miranda Walichowski  16:53  

Yeah, I love so much about what you're saying here. Because it seems like part of the way that you're able to do all of the things that you want to do in your life, is that you are not afraid to ask for help, you actually look at it as that it's mutually beneficial. It's helping you and the other person, which I love that reframe. Because I think so many people are afraid to ask for help or think they're imposing. And if you have these different areas of your life, it's like you're hitting so many of them with one activity, right with one action. So in the example with your daughter, and not only are you meeting your needs for your powerlifting, and your health, and your nutrition, but you're also engaging with her, you're also kind of taking a load off of you a little bit you're modeling for her, it's like so many things. So whenever you talked about the high impact activities earlier, I think that's a great example of where like one activity, one expulsion of your energy, can hit so many different areas and have such a high impact. 

Miranda Walichowski  17:58  

Exactly. And I think we're all doing that. But I don't think we acknowledge that. And that's where the beating self up is that we don't see that we see them as very isolated activities. And then we're constantly critiquing. So if you're critiquing the part of the brain that's engaged in that is not going to allow the creative and the problem solving aspect of the energy to be there for the other. And so it's just again, trusting that if I'm evaluating, I'm going to the source I'm adjusting. That's enough. You know, I'm not a robot, I'm a human, and even trusting that your struggles in themselves could be good lessons for others or bring about a greater good. And so I think when you start to embrace that, it just allows you to relax into life, and being able to be more organic and responsive to life instead of trying to drive with kind of clenched fists and perhaps driving in the wrong direction. 

Leanna McGrath  18:53  

Yeah. Well, I'm curious, too. I know you had a milestone birthday this year. And so as did I vote a different one. And so I guess I'm curious, you know, as you look back, as you've entered a new decade, and another one, is this something that you've brought along all along the way? Or do you think this is something that has developed more like this perspective has developed over time? What when did that come along? And did you struggle with different things maybe 10 years ago, or 20 years ago, at different decades or different points in your life? 

Miranda Walichowski  19:27  

That's a great question. I think I was blessed with just having a disposition for this just kind of this kind of mindset and, and I think much of it comes from just my what my father modeled. So that's definitely been there. And so that's definitely an advantage and makes it easier for me to be able to navigate in this direction. But no, I have not been at this point where I am. And so turning 50 does come with some years of wisdom. So you have all your tacit knowledge and then your discipline knowledge and life experiences and you get to merge all of those and just kind of look back, and be able to see things with more clarity. So definitely the Aging has helped in that time, because it just gives you more years to be able to experience things and to see the experiences of others, for sure. So I think before that it was more of that element of I did I remember I struggled quite deeply. And I think it was when I was finishing my dissertation. And I was, you know, in that space of how am I doing as a mother and as a faculty member, so I was an instructional faculty then or graduate assistant. So those roles lecturer, and graduate assistant, and then also working on my dissertation, and all of those things. And I do remember, there were times where it just felt overwhelming. And I felt that I was not being successful in all of those areas. And at one point, it even led to my having to get on anxiety medication, you know, it affected me biologically, I could feel my heart racing. And I just didn't feel like I could grasp control over things. And so I went on the anxiety medication for a period of time, I don't remember what it was maybe a year and a half. And during that period of time, I tried to figure out like, how do we become anti fragile. So this is a very difficult period of time, having to even though I was working part time at the university, but working part time, being a mom, by then I had my second child and trying to finish the dissertation. And so if I can go beyond just surviving the space and actually building something good here, and becoming better because of this experience, then I'm going to be equipped for any further challenges because life is not going to get any easier. People always think it is but it doesn't, or rarely does. And so then I started working on things that did help me. And that was the mindset and that was around that time learning about coaching helped immensely spiritual growth helped immensely, and then taking care of my body, I think is absolutely unlocked quite a bit. So all of those things kind of coalescing allowed me to get off the anxiety medication, and not have to need that anymore, you know, because of all the coping mechanisms that I now have. So I did hit that Nadir at one point. So I know that struggle, and I'm glad I was able to get out of that and have multiple things. 

Leanna McGrath  22:26  

I think it's really interesting to hear about your experience there, because you talked about your disposition being a huge asset. And so some people might think I just don't have that disposition. So therefore, I'll never be able to have this mindset. But the fact that you have experienced anxiety that you've gone through that, and that you found ways to cope is, I think really inspiring to others who are experiencing that anxiety or feeling like they're not enough, and maybe there's some hope for them that they can get to this place of finding more peace and joy.

Miranda Walichowski  23:01  

Right, absolutely. Yes.

Leanna McGrath  23:02  

Yeah. So one of the things that I think is so interesting about you and your story, when we met in 2017, you were having your own coaching business. And I think around that time your husband had transitioned into full time parenthood for your five children. And I just remember thinking it was such an interesting dynamic, and I loved hearing about it. So can you just talk a little bit more about that dynamic, how it came to be and kind of how it works for you and your family? 

Miranda Walichowski  23:34  

Yeah. So I think that was all when we're in coach training. That's the fun part of being in coach training that you get to bring all of your issues and have multiple people, coaches. So I think during 2017, so I went through iPEC coach training in 2015. And then I loved him so much that I thought there was an opportunity to do envision coach training, and I said, I'm gonna go do it. So you don't necessarily have to go to two schools. But I'd even go to a third if there were the opportunity. Well, actually, I teach classes now. So there's your third. So at that time, yeah, so it was we were in 2017. And my husband was working in a nonprofit. And they ended up consolidating, and so centralizing things and his office, he was like the business manager there. And that role was done away with and so he comes home one day, and he shares that news with us that this had happened. And that's exact same day, I had been operating my business, but I hadn't formalized things through the LLC process. And we are my binder came in that day. So my seal in my binder. And I thought, well, how interesting is this coincidence is this kind of indication of something yet to come? That these things kind of coincide? And so this was during the summer, and we noticed that a lot of the stress just went down because he was around and I think a lot of things were falling on my shoulders because I had more flexibility in my work as well. And he was happier, the children were happy, or I was happier financial stress was off the roof. Because of that, it's like, oh, what are we going to do with one income and a pretty large family. But on the other hand, it was complete bliss. And, and so then I asked him, should we give this a try and have you, you know, help with the business some and just see, you know, manage our budget better, etc, and see what would be possible. And so in that moment, I felt like my practice was an infant. And I was asking it to ride a bike, like really accelerating its growth of like, now you've got to deliver, you know, sorry, you're in diapers, but you've got to start pedaling this bike and deliver. And so it didn't take time. But it was responding, which was the neat thing to see, it just kind of grew in proportion to what we needed at the time. Yes, there were many challenges along the way. And it is very challenging for a marriage, I think sometimes to approach this in an unconventional way. And for us, in particular, because I tend to be traditional and have kind of a spiritual lens, traditional lens for the way that I look at things and relationships. And I had to realize or learn that there was a difference between exchanging responsibilities but not exchanging roles. And so whenever I felt we were exchanging roles. That's when I had disquietude in my heart, and I was wrestling with things, and just things didn't feel right. And I resented the situation, when I could step back and realize it's not the role, but the responsibilities that we could switch, then there was a lot of joy that came out of that. And I felt very settled, I felt a sense of this is exactly what we're supposed to be doing. And we're creating quite an ideal situation. Because in my mind, I had always thought of that romanticize about that idea of what would it look like to work with my husband on something like you've ever since we got married, and he would tell you that, like, I would say things like that, I never imagined it would happen. But then it did. But I think that was the foundation for me. And so whenever people ask about that, I challenge them to think about those two things. And so if as a female, you still want to be the woman at the end of the day, and that's important to you, and he still needs to be the man at the end of the day. And that's important to him and to you, then it's the responsibilities that need to be clearly defined and exchanged, you know, or flipped, but not the roles. And so in general, you know, relationships are, your men tend to like to feel like they have what it takes, and that they have a sense of respect. And then women, we want to feel that we are women, and you could take care of us. And yes, I could do this business thing. But if I'm coming in with groceries, it's nice if somebody if he meets me at the door and carries them, you know, those little subtle things, takes me on a date plans, the date, you know, little things like that, that still make me feel like okay, I'm the woman in this relationship. And I think you know, that's another thing that's constant. It's a constant reexamining talking about that, because I can get in that role where kind of bull dozy, and I think I have some friends of mine will describe me as is very stoic and having some very masculine tendencies, although I see myself as an also feminine, but those can surface and drive. And that's when it begins to kind of become a challenge. And so being able to leverage that duality in a balanced way, I think is the fun part of life. And also, what helps the relationship go better.

Leanna McGrath  28:38  

Yeah. Yeah, I think it's just so interesting. So you've been, it's been about five or six years now that you have been, you're fully in the business. He's our time in the business and mostly with the kids. And I'm sure there's just been so so many opportunities to learn and grow together. And I think it's so interesting kind of how you break out the responsibilities and the roles a little bit differently and make sure that they're very clearly defined. And I'm sure it's requires a lot of communication to make it all work, I assume. 

Miranda Walichowski  29:12  

Right. Absolutely. Yeah. So it's funny because I say I like tradition, but yet we have a very untraditional thing with a traditional flavor to it. And so it just, it just works.

Leanna McGrath  29:23  

Well, that's what's important that it works for you. And it may or may not work for other people, you know, for somebody else, but it works for right for you and your family. And I think the other thing I love about that is that especially kind of lately, we've been seeing a lot of layoffs. And you know, that's obviously a very unfortunate thing to happen to somebody. And I think it's just so interesting how you took that and turn it into an opportunity, right? Like that unfortunate situation that you work together to make it actually really work well for your family and kind of leverage that decision that you didn't make but that was made for you but then turn it into an opportunity. And I yeah, I just love that. I think the other thing that you you talked about before is like, what regrets do you want to have, and basically, that there are trade offs of everything. And so in this situation, right, at least at first, there was a very big trade off in terms of financial, but also lots of positives with everything else. And so I think that that is exactly also really important for us to realize, as many of the listeners, myself included, tend to be a perfectionist, a recovering perfectionist, and so wanting to make sure that like all the boxes are checked with every decision. And just recognizing that, actually, that doesn't always happen. And maybe like the boxes get checked over time, right, but maybe not all right away. And you talked about at the beginning of kind of having it all, but not all at once all the time.

Miranda Walichowski  30:52  

Right right no, exactly that it definitely is and continues to be a trade off. So I often ask people like, what do you think it takes to raise five children? And they'll say, I don't know. And then I'll say all of it. Because, because even if you have more now, you could take care of other things like fully funded scholarships, fully funded weddings. And if you don't have much, okay, you're at least providing for the day. So I don't know that at what point it's enough. And so yes, that continues to be a trade off, for sure. You know, because it's very rare now that people will even attempt to live on one income, and much less with a large family. And so it does, we do acknowledge that there are things like we don't take vacations, like our vacations, or going to soccer fields almost every weekend, you know, in the surrounding area. And being there at the hotel. Luckily, my girls think like that's a big deal. You know, is the hotel nice? And does it have a pool, that type of thing, and maybe we could do something else while we're in that city. And so there are, you know, constant trade offs. But then again, in the end, I realized that I feel wealthy in all other aspects of my life, and that more money would just, I always think of it as a Mackie board, or like a podcasting, you know, audio, the thing that DJs use, and if more money were here, it would just turn up the dial slightly on some things or turn down the dial slightly on other things. But it really wouldn't make that much of a difference to me, or to the way that I'm living or even to my children. And so it's just being mindful of that. So yes, I can beat myself up daily, about, you know, is this enough or what's needed. Or I could say, gosh, we're pretty wealthy and more money is just going to make things a tad easier, a tad more fun, or a tad less stress. But it's not worth being beating myself up about that. And because that's not the right energy that's going to help drive business forward anyway. So again, it's a lot of examining a lot of, you know, having those conversations with self and with others. And being at peace with, you know, I can't have it all exactly the way you know, society or even I would want to, so what am I willing to give, in order to have these other things and then really desiring, I think that's the key, you fall in love, and you really desire the things that you do have, and it makes them so much easier.

Leanna McGrath  33:13  

Yeah, you have talked a lot about like these conversations with self and ensuring alignment with values and things like that, as well as you know, your powerlifting, your coaching, kind of being coached all these different things. And I think a lot of times whenever I talk to women, especially who want to do this kind of work, they say, but I just don't feel like I have the time, like how do I fit in one more thing to my already, you know, I already feel overwhelmed with working and trying to raise these kids and having a relationship and trying to maintain other relationships and then take care of myself. And it's almost like, I think a lot of times, the self part becomes almost an afterthought, or like at the bottom of the priority list. And it's it sounds like for you, it's really essential. And you have found a way to kind of make it part of your regular practice and priorities. So how do you do that? How do you kind of make sure that you carve that time? Tell me more about that?

Miranda Walichowski  34:20  

I think that's the critical piece. And in many ways, the key that unlocks so much more, and there are moments where I do especially when I am getting ready to compete. So during that time that I'm in meat preparation, so not an M E A T but m e t so meat preparation of competition, preparation, it's usually about you start gearing up around a 12 week process and then accelerates in terms of intensity difficulty in the gym. And that time requires more from me and it's a very hard time mentally anyway. And I know in the last time that I was preparing for nationals, I did ask my husband like, I'm taking extra time at the gym, because I need to recover, I need to rest I need to get all this volume in. And I'm feeling talked about that, like, I'm feeling guilty about that time because there's so much that we need to be doing and so many of the other areas. And his response was like, no, just enjoy the time that you're there, like, give that to yourself, because it gives you so much more. And he's absolutely right about that. So normally, it doesn't take that long. So when I'm in the regular part of the season, or the here, it just does. So I Oh, and I have a training session. And it does so many things for me. So one, it helps me with mindset. So as a 50 year old woman, established career and established business, so now just kind of transitioning into something a little bit different, but still, you know, the foundation is there. There's not many spaces where I enter where I'm afraid, you know, of like, what's going to happen, can I do this, and the gym does that for me, for better or for worse, but that's what it is. And so even today, like I had squats, five by five, and they were at a heavier weight. And squats did not go well about two weeks ago. So I was going up in weight. And so even just before entering the gym, it was like, Can I do this and am I gonna get in that negative mindset and just spiral every now and then I have to bail, like sometimes just doesn't go well, I'm fatigued. We've been at soccer all weekend, and I tried to hit it Monday morning. And it's just not there. So all of that is going on in my head. And I had to constantly fight that by replacing it of just like, you know, Miranda, you can do this, you've done a lot 60 pounds more than this like and reminding myself, you're strong. And even if you struggle, it doesn't mean anything, it's not a judgment of how fit or strong you are just execute on the work. And then focusing instead of allowing the negativity of like, Oh, this feels heavy or whatever, just focus, get tight. And when you're down in the hole just explode up. That's all you have to think about. Don't think about anything else, it's really hard to fight and suppress negative thoughts, it's much easier to replace them. So get tight go down, when you're in the hole explode up and continuously. And all through the five sets, I was fighting with myself mentally, you know, and this time, so I don't always get to win, but this time I got to win. And so then that translates into so much in terms of life and business, you know, I leave the gym like I'm ready to go, whatever challenges ahead of me, I can do it, you know, and so I don't know that I could have that outside of my prayer time. You know, at the Chapel, I do that once a week for an hour. I don't know that I could have that anywhere else. Not only that, it's an investment in itself. So as we age, especially as we get into our 40s, we're losing about 10% of muscle mass every decade. And that muscle mass equates to, if I get in an accident, how quickly or how well can I recover? If I fall ill your muscle is your investment, your revenue that you could draw from to be able to recover your muscle equates to your independence, obviously, you don't have to have a ton of muscle, but you have to have adequate muscle. So you don't go into sarcopenia, which is the decaying and the wasting away of muscle. And so the more muscle you have, the more independent you're going to be in your 80s and 90s. And so realizing that this is an investment, and I'm already seeing the payoff of it, I often get comments from people. They're quite surprised at my age. And just last week, I was at the University and somebody was asking me, several people will say this, like how do you age and reverse? Like, every time I see, it looks like you're aging in reverse. And I say well, it's a couple of things, I think it's the gym. And I really do believe it's the fountain of youth. And then just being joyful, like, you know, just being joyful in life. And that helps. So not only that, but the powerlifting helps me set boundaries on everything else. And I think that is key, because I would not be here without those boundaries. So when I had the anxiety, I got to the point where I would go get a dish out to eat something. And I felt like I don't even have time to close the cabinet. It was getting pretty wild. Like I would not even close the cupboard or the cabinet. I just felt like I was just spinning like just rushing and everything else. And one of the things that powerlifting has done for me is it set boundaries. Like Miranda no matter what, even if a meeting is happening at lunchtime, you will eat lunch during the meeting. If a work isn't done, and it's bedtime, you will go to bed. And so if it's time to hydrate no matter what you're doing teaching class, you're like, I never leave my bottle is with me all the time. And so those type of things, it has helped me set very healthy boundaries. While I'm at the gym, I don't look at anybody's emails or text messages. Like I just won't respond, obviously if it's my family in an emergency, but other than that, it's like boundaries like I'm here. I'm focused on what I'm doing so that I could be safe and enjoy this space. And I think that's been very powerful. Because I don't think that we give ourselves permission or even know how to set boundaries. And so setting those boundaries has just allowed so many other little mini boundaries that are so appropriate and serve a good purpose to be set up more easily. And I could not be here without that. And I could not have done that on my own of just saying, oh, I need to set healthy boundaries. It took me falling in love with something that just forced the boundaries to be there, if that makes sense.

Leanna McGrath  40:26  

Yeah. Yeah, I love that. And I do think it's so important and something that we just don't often do, right? We just don't often, like you said, give ourselves permission to prioritize ourselves, and then just set those boundaries. But I think the more examples that we can see, like you have people who are doing so many things, and who are joyful about it, all right, who are like constantly stressed and anxious, and, you know, just trying to kind of charge through life and get it all done, but actually enjoying the ride. So to say, I think that that's so inspirational, because I think it encourages other people to also say, Hmm, what if I stepped back and took a little bit of time for myself? What if I exercised more than I do right now, if I'm, you know, if I'm not currently prioritizing that, what if I spent time in coaching spent time in self reflection and really clarifying my values? Like you said, that feels frivolous at the beginning, but once you start to do it, and you start to see the benefits of all of that of really spending time with oneself, and investing in oneself, and where it how it pays off in so many areas of our lives, then it's almost like you can't stop? You don't want to stop. Right?

Miranda Walichowski  41:46  

Right? Yes. Once you see the evidence and the return on investment, it was just like, there's no way then it becomes like, may always have the grace and the blessing to be able to continue to do this. Yeah. Because you know, it gives you so much. And that's the gratitude, I feel when I'm in the gym. It's often like thank you God for one more day that I'm able to do this, because again, it just gives so much back. Yeah, absolutely does. And I often joke that I will give clients discounts when they come on if they're willing to go and hire a personal trainer and hit the gym. Because their ability to accomplish their goals is going to be exponentially increased by adding that, and I've seen that with clients. I don't push it or anything, but they become with curiosity. So they learn, you know that I'm a competitive powerlifter they feel it's unusual. They get curious, they start asking questions and why. And then when I share that, they're like, Oh, well, I'm thinking I might be open to that. And I'm like, really you are and so just I get so excited. And then they engage and then they come back and they say I know it sounds cliche ish. But yes, it's so life changing. And it just allows me to show up in all aspects of my life in a more powerful way. And I just celebrate that. But yes, always kind of in a quippy way. So you know, you get a discount if you start exercising as you start executive leadership coaching, because you're just gonna win at everything. 

Leanna McGrath  43:05  

Yeah, that's such a great point. And I think both are so important, the physical and the mental, emotional, right, that we focus on both. Yeah. Well, I have learned so much from this conversation. And I think that everyone listening as well, there's so much to be learned here. And also, like I said, just, I think it's so inspirational to see people, especially women who are enjoying their lives, and accomplishing the things that they want to and just like living life on their own terms, right in the in the way that works best for them and their families. So thank you for being that example. And thank you so much for coming on the show and sharing all of your wisdom with us. And I know so many people are going to benefit from it. Is there anything else that you would want to share with listeners before we sign off?

Miranda Walichowski  43:52  

I think it's just the idea of be careful of the conversations that you say you have with yourself because you're listening. And so just being mindful of what are the words that I use the phrases, how do I reframe things so that they serve me better? If you get good at having those conversations with self, it just allows so much else to open up in your life. So I think that's the big thing. And the thing I'd like to encourage people to be mindful of. What's that conversation with self sound like?

Leanna McGrath  44:21  

Yeah, I love that. Well, thank you so much, Miranda, and thanks so much to everyone for tuning in. And we'll see you all next week. 

Leanna McGrath  44:32  

Thanks so much for tuning in to the executive coach for moms podcast. Please like, subscribe or follow the show so you'll be notified when the next episode is available. I hope you'll join me again next time. Take care

Transcribed by https://otter.ai