Olympic Level Mental Health: 7 Things We Can Learn From Simone Biles

Leanna Laskey McGrath  0:08  

Welcome to the executive coach for moms podcast where we support women who are attempting to find balance and joy while simultaneously leading people at work and at home. I'm your host, Leanna Laskey McGrath, former tech exec turned full time mom, recovering perfectionist and workaholic and certified executive coach. 

Leanna Laskey McGrath  0:29  

Hi everyone. Welcome back to the show. Thank you so so much for joining me today. If you are anything like me, you have been knee deep in Olympics. I have been loving watching the Olympics. I don't get to catch all of the sports, all of the different shows, but at least catching the highlights has been super fun to see. It's been super fun to be winning and seeing Team USA just doing amazing, and also seeing everybody just working hard. I just love to see people who are really honed in their craft, who have clearly worked really, really hard to get really, really good at something, go out and show us. I just think it's so cool. So I really enjoyed the Olympics. I hope you have too. And now that they're over, we're all probably wondering, what do we do with ourselves? Not that we don't have enough going on with back to school and everything else in our lives. 

Leanna Laskey McGrath  1:27  

But I wanted to talk a little bit about what we can learn from Simone Biles, because I really just loved hearing her story throughout the Olympics and hearing from her and I also watched her documentary on Netflix. I watched the first one, and I think there are a few more episodes that I still need to watch, but I don't get very much time to watch TV so, but I would recommend it. It's really cool. So I want to tell you seven things that any working mom, executive mom, woman, person, human, can learn from Simone Biles. 

Leanna Laskey McGrath  2:05  

So the first thing is that focusing on mental health increases your performance. I think that this was shown throughout the Olympics, not just with Simone Biles, but Suni Lee, another US gymnast, talked about how she journals before every event, and how that calms her anxiety. Katie Ledecky actually just released a book on mental health and its relation to performance. Multiple other athletes have talked about the importance of mental health and focusing on their mental health. So I think the idea of taking time for yourself, taking time for therapy, Simone talks a lot about the importance of therapy, and the impact of therapy on her life, that she does therapy before her major events and ongoing, every day, in some cases. And I think that idea of like finding that time for ourselves when we feel like we don't have any time, because we're working all day, we're getting to see our kids just for a little bit in the evenings, and then our weekends are like, reset, get everything ready for the next week and go, go, go, and we're just going, going, going. And a lot of times it feels like we don't have any time to stop and actually take a minute for ourselves. But I think that what Simone shows us is first of all, like she's probably pretty busy with all of her training and all of her appearances and everything else she's doing, in her work and personal life, but somehow she finds time for therapy. And I believe that we all can and should find time for ourselves. 

Leanna Laskey McGrath  3:48  

I also think that a lot of times we have this mentality of, "I should be able to figure this out on my own." For some reason when it comes to mental health and it comes to talking about things in therapy, we think, "I should be able to figure this out for myself." And it's just like, yeah, you probably can at some point. Like you probably can eventually, but at the end of the day, DIY ing mental health is just like, DIY ing anything else. Like, if you want to renovate your kitchen, can you do it? Sure, but like, you've got to do a lot of research, you've got to do a lot of manual labor, or you're probably going to mess up and have to fix something. It's probably going to take a lot longer than, like, if you just, like, hired someone who knows what they're doing to help you out. So it's just way harder, it's more work, it's more stress to figure it all out on your own. And so I guess I think about mental health in that way that it's like, yeah, having someone like a trusted advisor, a therapist, a coach, someone who has expertise in this area, hiring them to help you with your mental health, it's a really good investment, and it makes more sense to do that than to try and do it yourself, unless you're like a total expert. And even if you are an expert in it, you might know how to do it for other people, and it's hard to do for yourself. So even I think a lot of therapists and coaches themselves are like, I should be able to figure this out on my own. But the reality is, is just like having a trusted partner is so, so helpful. 

Leanna Laskey McGrath  5:30  

So I love that focus on mental health, and I love also how we're seeing it tied to performance. because when Simone's mental health was not in check in 2020, 2021, in Tokyo, we saw it show up in her performance, right? Like she was having the twisties, and she ended up stepping away. And here her mental health was really strong. You saw her meditating on the sidelines. We saw other people, other gymnasts, the pommel horse guy also. So the importance of focusing on your mental health and understanding that, like it's an investment to make everything else better. 

Leanna Laskey McGrath  6:12  

The second thing that I've learned from Simone Biles is kind of the idea of just, don't sweat the small stuff, and you get to decide what gets your focus. After the Tokyo Olympics, when she decided to step away, there were, of course, a lot of critics, a lot of people who had something to say about that. And at the end of the day, we each get to decide where we put our focus and energy. And I think there are people and things and activities that we can do that are energy drainers and there are energy givers. So therapy, for example, is an energy giver. Coaching is an energy giver. Journaling is an energy giver. Scrolling social media is often an energy drainer. So it's just like, we can decide where we want to put our time, where we want to put our focus and energy, and we can decide what we want to get upset about and worry about and be anxious over. 

Leanna Laskey McGrath  7:18  

The third thing is that taking breaks or tapping out, it does not show your weakness. Does not make you weak. It actually shows your strength. So I think often, as moms and high achievers, we believe that pushing through and continuing forward, just like put your head down and keep going, that is the best path forward, or it's necessary, and it's going to actually save us time, because, you know, we don't stop and take any time. But actually the opposite is true; when we sometimes slow down our pace a little bit and check in with ourselves and recalibrate, we can actually be more efficient and go faster in the end. So there's this great saying of slow down to speed up. Because I think that when we take breaks, take time for ourselves, say, "You know what? I am tapped out here, like I am maxed out here. I need to step away for a bit," that that allows us to recharge and come back much stronger. And I think that a lot of times in our day to day lives, we just feel like the stronger thing is to just carry on and keep going. And we feel like we have to, but we run our lives. We get to decide if we're going to keep grinding or if we're going to take a step back, recalibrate, check in with ourselves and maybe make some changes and look for ways that we can actually do things in a better way, so that we can still get great results, but like not feel so terrible about them, about the process to get there.

Leanna Laskey McGrath  9:13  

Hello, lovely listeners. It's back to school time, and if you're anything like so many working moms I've talked to, you might be feeling some level of guilt over not having had the summer you imagined for your kids. Maybe you feel like you were working the whole time and they were just home on their devices and didn't get to experience the kind of summer that you had in mind for them, or maybe that you got to have as a child. Or maybe they were bouncing from summer camp to summer camp the whole summer, and you feel like you barely got to see them. You feel guilty about that, because now they're about to head off to their next grade in school, and it's just gone by so much faster than you can seem to keep up with or maybe you have found something else to feel guilty about, because as moms, I feel like we're really skilled at carrying around all the guilt. 

Leanna Laskey McGrath  10:00  

If this sounds anything like you, I would love to invite you to join me for my release, The Mom Guilt Webinar: Back to School Edition, where a bunch of moms, just like you, will be in a virtual room together, and I'm going to share some of the ways to reduce and release the mom guilt so that you don't have to carry it into this new school year. Join me on Tuesday, August 27, at noon Eastern, and if you can't make it, that's okay. If you sign up, I'll send you the replay. Head on over to coachleanna.com to find all the details. I hope to see you there. 

Leanna Laskey McGrath  10:34  

The fourth thing that Simone reminded me of in her choice to step away from the Tokyo Olympics, which, let's just look at that for a second, because let's say that you are an athlete who has worked your ass off to get to the Olympics. I mean, you have to work so so hard and train every day for years and years on end. And then you get there and you realize, I am not going to be able to do this like, I am not in the right mental place to be able to do this safely, and I have to now go and not just, like, tell my team and my coaches and worry about what their reactions might be, or, you know, feel bad about potentially letting them down, but I'm representing my entire country, and so now on top of this, I have to go and tell my entire country that I'm stepping away. And I think that must have been a very difficult decision, and maybe not the decision itself was difficult. It was just a difficult thing that that Simone had to do, and I admire her so much for just knowing herself well enough to decide what was most needed in that moment. 

Leanna Laskey McGrath  11:51  

But the way I think about it is that if you look at Simone and then Kerri Strug, which I believe it was the documentary where they talked about this, that in the Tokyo Olympics, Simone recognized, "I am having a mental block. I have the twisties, and therefore I'm losing my position in the air, and I am doing these ridiculously difficult moves that could result in a serious injury, and therefore I'm not going to risk that for myself, because I want to be able to walk out of here." And when we look at that choice, what Simone did is she traded the short term for the long term. So she said, "I am going to say no to the short term right now, because I want to focus on making sure that I can be strong in the long term and come back and do this again." 

Leanna Laskey McGrath  12:50  

Kerri Strug was a gymnast in the 1996 Olympics. I remember this because I was a kid when this happened, and she was a teenager, and she did her vault and landed, and her ankle like, seriously injured her ankle. At that time, you had to do a free vault twice, so then she was expected to do it again. And she kind of looked at her coach like, please, please don't make me do this again. And you know, was clearly in excruciating pain. And her coach kept cheering her on and telling her, you could do it, you can do it, you can do it. And everyone was, you know, cheering her on, and then she did it. She landed. You just saw the look of pain and agony on her face, but she did it, and she and the team got their gold medal. So Kerri walked away with a gold medal. But also it was a career ending kind of situation, and so she was no longer able to compete after that because of her injured ankle. And of course, I'm not going to get into, you know, all of my thoughts on that like she was a young person who was probably her will was not honored in that moment, but I remember at the time. I mean, it was like everyone was saying, you know, "She sacrificed herself for her country, and she's so honorable," and, you know, just kind of really held her up on a pedestal. And, you know, I certainly don't want to take anything away from her. I think she deserves all the accolades that that she has. But also what she did there, whether it was her decision or someone else's, is traded in the long term for the short term, right? So in the short term, she got her medal and experienced victory in that moment, but it was a trade off for the long term. 

Leanna Laskey McGrath  14:35  

And a lot of times we have to kind of make these decisions with this lens or this compass of, Am I making this decision for the short term or the long term? And sometimes we have to make decisions that don't always feel 100% right for the short term, but we know are gonna make sense for the long term, and vice versa, and there's no like right or wrong  wrong way. I'm not saying that Simone did it right and Kerri did it wrong or vice versa. It's just something to think about for all of us. Of like, how do we want to make our decisions? And of course, it's a decision by decision basis. So it's not like every single decision is the same, but I think we have to remember that life is a marathon, not a sprint. Parenting is a marathon, not a sprint. It's 18 years at least, and more beyond that, of course. But if we're looking at is like 18 years like that's not a sprint. And if we try and go at a sprint pace through a marathon, what's going to happen? I mean, you saw it in the Olympics. Whenever people went too fast for the race that they were doing, you end up burning out, and you end up not being able to maintain the pace. And so sometimes it's helpful for us to check in and just say, like, "am I running a marathon right now, or am I running in a marathon pace or a sprint pace?" 

Leanna Laskey McGrath  15:59  

Because I think so often we feel like we need to run, run, run at a sprint pace, and it's not sustainable. Unfortunately, I wish it was. I love running at a sprint pace. Figure it to look it out literally, but it's just not sustainable for the long term. And I think that as I get older, that's something that my 40s have taught me, is that, you know, wow, there's more time than I thought I had. Because, you know, I thought I would only live till 40 when I was younger. And, you know, I've got to kind of figure out where I want to put my energies and where I might be able to take a break when I might need to take a break, and it feels like, Oh, my God, if I take a break right now, the world's gonna end. But the reality is, no, the world's gonna keep on going, and I can take my break and it's gonna be okay, because I know what's best for me, and I need to trust myself and do what's best for me in this moment. I truly believe that what is best for us as mothers is what is best for our families, even though it doesn't always feel like it in the moment, because it's like, I know my kid's going to be so upset if I go take a weekend away for myself, and it's going to inconvenience my husband or whatever, right, like it's not going to feel right, but I know that when I come back recharged, that it's going to be best for everyone, and even if they don't realize it in the moment, I trust myself to know that that decision is right for us. 

Leanna Laskey McGrath  17:35  

So I just love the example that Simone has set about trusting herself to make the right decision for ourselves, and also, if we look at the United States as Simone's family, or her gymnastics team as her family, it's great that she did this right. Obviously, her team did well in Tokyo. They got their medals, and actually Suni Lee, it opened up the space for other people to get gold medals that probably wouldn't have otherwise, in Tokyo, and then when she came to Paris, they got lots more gold medals. And Simone got her medals and supported her team, and I'm sure that everybody was grateful in the end, you know? And it's always hindsight is always 20/20, so it's much easier to look back and be like, yeah, that was definitely the right decision. But you can see that it turns out that whenever we take time for ourselves and listen to ourselves and trust ourselves, that it does turn out and it does help everybody else out around us. 

Leanna Laskey McGrath  18:38  

Okay, so number five is I love seeing how Simone lifts up those around her. I love seeing her and Jordan Chiles's friendship and just how she supports all the other gymnasts, both on her team and on the other teams. I love whenever she and Jordan bowed down to Rebecca Andrade from Brazil, the gold medal winner, for the floor routine. That was so cool. That was such a sweet moment. And just like takes so much, I think, confidence in oneself, and just like truly caring about other people, and like, recognizing the greatness in other people that you have in yourself to be able to say, yeah, like, I'm gonna bow down to this queen. I just thought that was really cool. And I just love how Simone really uplifts the women around her. 

Leanna Laskey McGrath  19:35  

And then number six, I think some people might not agree with so much, but in the beam final, when Simone fell off the beam and a ton of other amazing gymnasts fell off the beam, like we were, like, is this thing greased? I don't understand what's happening here, but just seeing them not be perfect. Perfect I think it is kind of a reminder to us that if the greatest gymnast of all time, who practices constantly and has worked so hard for this can make a mistake and not be perfect, then like maybe we could have a little bit of grace for ourselves when we are not perfect. I think especially as perfectionists and recovering perfectionists, we hold ourselves to such high standards. And I think whenever we see someone who is amazing, who we hold in very high regard, mess up too, then it's like, oh, okay, so actually, like, I'm not supposed to do this perfectly. It would be amazing if it were possible, but it's not possible to be perfect. And I think it's important to remember that GOATs fall down sometimes too, figuratively, literally, and if we see amazing people make mistakes, I think, hopefully it allows us, gives us permission to give ourselves some grace too, because none of us got an Olympic gold medal in parenting and balancing parenting and working and leading and all the things at the same time. Even if we had, we would still mess up sometimes, just like all of the many women who had gotten medals already who fell off the beam. So thank you, Simone, for reminding us of our humanness by showing us yours. 

Leanna Laskey McGrath  21:34  

And then number seven, which I think might be most important of all, is just to have fun. I loved seeing Simone and her teammates smiling and laughing and having fun on the sidelines, and all eyes were on Simone at this Olympics, so the pressure was on. Still they were having fun. I think we take our lives so seriously so often, and we think that we can't have fun, but like, if we're not enjoying it, then what's the point of it? Anyway, we should enjoy our lives at least a little bit. And so I loved seeing them, even on that big stage, even under all that pressure, having a good time. And when I think about when I was younger, watching gymnastics, I remember seeing the women like, so stressed out and crying every time they made a mistake, and it just didn't look like they were having a good time. And I felt like this Olympics was so much different. I felt like there was just some true, pure joy. I mean, certainly there were moments that were hard, and there were tears sometimes, and there was certainly anxiety going into some performances and such. But overall, like it was just so nice to see people smiling and hugging and laughing and having a good time even while they were competing at the highest levels of their sport. So I think it's an important reminder for us that we can take ourselves and our lives a little bit less seriously and just enjoy it, enjoy the moments that we have with our kids, with our families, with our friends, with our co workers. If we're not enjoying it, then what are we doing? I mean, really. 

Leanna Laskey McGrath  23:27  

So thank you all so much for tuning in to this week's episode. I would love to hear your take on what you learned from Simone Biles or any of the other amazing, amazing athletes at this year's Olympics. Thank you and have a great week. 

Leanna Laskey McGrath  23:49  

Thanks so much for tuning in to the executive coach for moms podcast. Please like, subscribe or follow the show so you'll be notified when the next episode is available. I hope you'll join me again next time. Take care. Bye.