How to Shift from Feeling Exhausted + Drained to Energized + Empowered

Welcome to The Executive Coach for Moms Podcast where we support women who are attempting to find balance and joy while simultaneously leading people at work and at home. I'm your host, Leanna Laskey McGrath, former tech exec turned full time mom, recovering perfectionist and workaholic and certified executive coach. 

Hi, everyone. Thank you so much for joining me. Welcome to April. Welcome to Q2. I hope you're excited to be here. Today, I'm gonna be talking about a very simple perspective shift, lens shift, wording shift that can shift our energy into a much more empowering state to where we are able to feel so much better about what we're doing. The things that we tell ourselves are so important because how we think determines how we feel. So if we are always saying, I have to, I have to do this. I have to do that. How does that feel? It's extremely disempowering when we say I have to. We feel like we're the victim, like we're having to do something against our will. Because when we say I have to, it means that we don't have a choice in the matter. We are taking ourselves out of it and saying it's beyond me. Someone else or something else is determining how I spend my time. I have no say. I have to do it.

Notice when we exchange that with more empowering thoughts, like, I get to, I want to, I choose to, I wish to, how much more in control we feel, how much different we feel about the task, about the thing that we're gonna be doing. When we say, I have to, we are tired ahead of time because we're creating the feeling of dread, and dread is a very draining feeling. It drains our energy, and so it ends up taking so much more energy to actually complete the task. When we switch to the more empowering language, we can say, I choose to. I choose to clean the house this weekend. I choose to work late tonight. I choose to spend my whole weekend at my daughter's volleyball tournament. Notice when we say I choose to, it's a different energy, a different feeling than, I have to clean the house this weekend. I have to work late tonight. I'm gonna have to spend my entire weekend at my daughter's volleyball tournament. So that very simple shift in language can really change our energy toward whatever we're doing. 

And then to take it a step further, we can ask ourselves why. Why are you choosing to spend your time this way? I'm choosing to clean the house this weekend because it's important to me that my family lives in a clean space. I'm choosing to work late tonight because I get to do a project that's really important to my career, and my career is important to me. I'm choosing to spend my whole weekend at my daughter's volleyball tournament because I want my daughter to have opportunities to get to do something she loves, to grow in her sport, and in her resilience. And I wanna show up for her because that's the kind of parent that I wanna be. When we're really clear about why we're doing something and it's from a place of choice and a place of recognizing why it's important to us, then we have so much more energy to do the thing. We feel excitement instead of dread. And excitement is an energy giving feeling, whereas dread is an energy taking feeling. So when we don't feel that dread and when we can shift to that much more empowering and energizing thought, feeling excitement or alignment with your purpose, then it creates more energy for us to complete the task. When we're feeling dread all of the time, it is depleting us. When we're feeling excitement and anticipation, it's fueling us. 

Now I know what you're probably thinking. Leanna, I don't know if I can get on board with feeling excitement about some of the mundane everyday things I'm spending my time doing. And I get that because I am writing this episode on a Saturday morning, and I'm looking around and thinking about what we're gonna be doing this weekend and kind of planning out our time, how we're gonna spend our time. And I'm noticing that the dirty laundry cart is full. So I see that, and then I get to choose my thought about it. Is my thought going to be, I have to spend all weekend doing laundry, I have to get the laundry done, I need to do the laundry this weekend? I could alternatively say, I want to do the laundry. I love to do the laundry. I get to do the laundry, and I'm so grateful because it's gonna help my family set us up for the week. I might not be all the way there about laundry. Let's be honest. But what I can say instead is to go to a more neutral thought. A neutral thought isn't going to create energy, but it's also not going to drain energy from us. So I could look at the laundry cart and say, I'm gonna be doing laundry this weekend. See, it's just neutral. It's not, I have to. It's not, yay, I want to. It's just, I'm gonna be doing laundry. That's what my weekend is going to hold.

So if you have something that you're going to be doing that maybe you can't get all the way to a more empowering thought, maybe you can't get to I want to or I get to or I wish to, maybe you can be at I choose to, or maybe you can be at I am going to, a more neutral thought that feels a little bit more empowering, but somewhere in the middle. It doesn't have to be all the way. It doesn't have to be all or nothing. Like, I know we're coming up on the tax deadline. Completing my taxes is one of the items on my to do list, and I don't know if I can get to yay, I get to do my taxes. I want to do my taxes. But I am going to do my taxes. I'm choosing to do my taxes. And, frankly, I do want to do my taxes because I do want to contribute to the place I live, you know, my local state and national society, and because I'm a responsible adult who takes care of my business. So in those aspects, of course, I wanna do my taxes. But do I, like, wanna gather all the paperwork and put it all into the system and do all the things? I wouldn't say I want to, but I choose to. I'm going to. I'm gonna make sure that I take care of my business that I choose to take care of because I believe I'm a responsible adult.

So I think the thing to notice is that you never have to choose a disempowering thought because it's just not gonna be helpful for you. And, honestly, it's like, why? Why would we choose this disempowering thought all the time of, I have to? We get to choose our thoughts and how we think about things and how we feel about things. So you can go through life thinking that you are a victim and that you have to do all these things, or you can go through life feeling empowered and telling yourself that you're choosing the way that you're spending your time. So the first step is always awareness. Start noticing where you're telling yourself that you have to do things, or you need to do things, and notice how it makes you feel whenever you think those thoughts. Notice if it feels like you are getting energy to do the thing or that you feel less energy to do the thing, that you feel like already tired and dreading it ahead of time. Once you've created some awareness and you've started picking up on some of your brain's patterns, then you can start working to shift some of those thoughts. You can start reminding yourself, you know what? Actually, I don't have to do this. I don't have to pay the mortgage. There are people who would choose not to pay the mortgage, but I'm choosing to pay the mortgage. I'm going to pay the mortgage because I wanna live in a house with my family that we love, that we feel safe in. That is my choice. 

And remember, you don't have to go all the way to the positive side. We can go somewhere in the middle. But this is a really powerful practice. It's gonna make you feel more empowered, more energized, and less depleted and drained all the time. It really helps you to enjoy the present moment more, or at least just to feel neutral about it, instead of feeling like all the time, just feeling heavy and dreadful about whatever you're doing. Because we have this time on this planet, and it's just like, do I wanna feel excited and energized and enjoying the time and the way that I'm spending my time? Or do I wanna feel like I'm being held hostage and I'm using this time against my will? It's your time. You're choosing how you spend it. Stop lying to yourself and telling yourself that you have no choice in the matter. You get to choose.

So remind yourself of that regularly. I am choosing this. And if you realize, actually, I don't wanna be spending my time this way, then change it. It might take some work, it might take some coaching, it might take some investment, it might take some pain, but it is your one and only precious life. So choose to spend the time how you want to.

Thank you so much, everybody. I hope you have a great week, and remember, I choose to.

If you're loving what you're learning on this podcast, I'd love to invite you to check out The Executive Mom Reset. It's my six month coaching program for ambitious, success driven, career focused women who are ready to stop surviving and start thriving. Together, we'll tackle the stress, guilt and overwhelm that come with being a high achieving executive mom. You'll learn how to set boundaries, prioritize what truly matters, and build the confidence to show up powerfully at work, at home, and for yourself. Head on over to coachleanna.com right now to schedule a free discovery call. We'll spend an hour talking about where you are now, what you want to create, and how I can help you get there, because every woman deserves to live the life of her dreams. Let's create yours together.