The High Achiever's First Superpower: Outwork Everyone and Succeed Through Work Ethic - with Erica Willie (part 1)

Leanna Laskey McGrath  0:00  

Welcome to The Executive Coach for Moms Podcast where we support women who are attempting to find balance and joy while simultaneously leading people at work and at home. I'm your host, Leanna Laskey McGrath, former tech exec turned full time mom, recovering perfectionist and workaholic and certified executive coach. 

Leanna Laskey McGrath  0:24  

Hi everyone. Welcome back to the show. Thank you so much for joining me today. I am so excited to announce today's guest and introduce her. Her name's Erica Willie, and we go way back. We've known each other for 20 plus years, and I'm going to tell you a little bit about her. Erica is a former NFL cheerleader turned tech strategist, nonprofit founder and mom of three with a background in computer science and a master's in instructional design. She blends technical know how with heart led leadership. She founded The ScienceSIS Foundation to empower girls of color in STEM and leads CRM enablement at Paxcotech helping small businesses and nonprofits grow. Erica's career spans top sales roles at HubSpot, AT&T, IBM, and Cisco, and she's on a mission to prove that ambition, motherhood and purpose can all thrive together. Yes, I love it. We share that mission. Erica, welcome to the show. 

Erica Willie  1:27  

Thank you, Leanna, I'm so happy to be here. I feel honored to be here. 

Leanna Laskey McGrath  1:31  

I'm so happy to have you. I feel honored that you agreed to come on and talk to me. So I think you have the most interesting background. And I think about when we crossed paths back at San Jose State in 2006 and you were getting your master's degree at the time, and you just have such an interesting, different things that you're interested in, like you're running this non profit and you're also doing tech stuff, and you're a cheerleader. And what was not in your bio was that you were a competitive salsa dancer back in those days.

Erica Willie  2:06  

It all intertwines. It goes together honestly. I think one common denominator of it all is I'm just a very curious person, and I always push myself to the levels that may have never seen before, because I just feel like following my passion, following an idea or a goal, I always try to crush it or accomplish it.

Leanna Laskey McGrath  2:28  

Yeah. Tell us more kind of your path, why you've taken it, what led you along these different stops along the way. Tell us more in your words.

Erica Willie  2:39  

Yeah. So I can even go before that. So I remember being in high school, always being a tinkerer, always trying to solve something or undo a pen and put it back together, I was always that little girl. And I got interested in science at an early age. I went to a math, science and technology middle school and high school, and I remember being very involved in tech at an early age, and I won the science fair for my school, and I got into technology, and I remember one of the teachers telling me that I could never be an engineer if I was not good at math. I'm like, Wow, I love math, but I'm just like, not making straight A's. It's not easy for me. And so I took that as a challenge. And so from there, that's my personality. I take a challenge and I go full throttle. And so I studied computer science in college. And while I was in college, I was very involved in marching band, in all the arts, and I became a dance girl there. Went to an HBCU, where you look at movies like drum line, and you see the band as a huge deal for HBCUs. And I was in the band. I marched in the band. I played the bass clarinet and Symphonic Band and concert band. I was Miss senior. I was just involved in all the things and art. I was in the gospel choir, but I still was a computer science major. I remember sleeping in McNair Hall and sleeping in the labs to try to finish, compile a program. So I've always had this life of art, dance and technology, so that's kind of how it kept going my entire life. 

Leanna Laskey McGrath  4:14  

Yeah, that's so interesting. I think it's so cool, you know, because I studied math and psychology and everyone was always like, what I don't understand, like, how does that work together? And I think that sometimes, whenever you hear people doing things that usually attract like, different types of personalities, I guess, sometimes it's like, oh, that's so interesting, that all of that exists within one person. 

Erica Willie  4:36  

And it's so funny you say that Leanna, because I was talking to with another friend, and we're talking about math, and she was great in math, but she didn't follow math as her occupation and career, but she was just so good at all the things that I remember, and I'll get to our story of how we met, but I remember working with you and how you were so organized with your to do list. And now it makes sense, because you have a math brain and that critical thinking is so important. It plays in so many different roles. But yeah, that makes sense to me. You were, I studied math, so.

Leanna Laskey McGrath  5:07  

Yeah. So you went to college, and you studied computer science, and you did all the things outside the classroom, and then what?

Erica Willie  5:15  

So I interned. I was at an internship while I was in college, and I interned with IBM, and I interned with IBM while I was in college. When I graduated, I accepted a role in California. So I went to college in North Carolina, A&T, and then when I graduated, I moved all the way to the West Coast, to California, and that's where I met you, Leanna. So I started IBM, and IBM had a program where they paid for your college. So if you wanted to go back to school, they would pay for it. And I started going to San Jose State for instructional design. And then my now husband, was also at Georgia, University of Georgia, and he was a resident assistant there, and he had the most fabulous life. And you know, his college was paid for, and everything else was paid for. And I remember thinking about, like, wow, San Jose State is kind of a transient campus, but they started building new residence halls there, and I remember applying for a job, and you responded right away. I'm like, is this a real person? And then I met you at San Jose State, working for you, I just learned so much. I loved it. Just grew as a person. And so that's where the instructional design kicked in. And back then, instructional design was fairly new, just an umbrella of how people learn with technology, is kind of like what I was learning there. I started going to San Jose State full time for my masters. And then I think at the end of that, I started to cheer for the 49ers. I started as a salsa dancer at Gold's Gym with my friends. We're like, let's just take salsa dancing. Of course, I had to take it to the next level and join a troop. And we performed every single night, every night, and all throughout the Bay Area. So I would get home at like, maybe 1am and we would practice all day, and then part of that practice was cross training for in ballet, because they wanted you to be better in ballet. And so I met some cheerleaders. I'm like, oh, I want to do that. Because if I'm a cheerleader, then I can get a lot of free dance classes. I tried out and I got cut. I tried out, I got cut, and I'm like, wow, I was trying to be a cheerleader that I thought in my head what a cheerleader was. So like, right now, you can see me have curly hair. Normally, I have, like, a bit curly Afro and but I never saw cheerleaders with curly afros back then. So what I did, I tried what I thought was a cheerleader. So I we for the very first time, I remember trying to play up, trying to downplay me being a computer scientist or being smart, just like generalizing what I thought a cheerleader was. And I got cut. And I remember the next year, I tried out again. I'm like, whatever. I'm just gonna be myself, wear my curly Afro and just talk about, like, why I like to do what I like to do, and just be my 1,000% authentic self. And then I made it. And so I use this story all the time in my personal life. So I made cheer based off of me just being myself, just being myself in that room. And so I cheered. And I cheered for maybe three more years while I was still working. 

Erica Willie  8:25  

At this point, I graduated from San Jose State, and my husband moved to Jacksonville. He's very big in education, and I got into sales. And I always wanted to be in sales. I thought sales was, you know, you had to be pushy, and you had to get people to do what you wanted to do. And I learned about consultative sales and the skills that go into the science and the art behind sales. And I really enjoyed that, and I did that in Florida. And so my last year of cheer, I flew back and forth to Florida because I tried out, and maybe 500 girls trying out for 40 spots, and I, you know, I feel very responsible for, you know, my role on the team. I don't want to take someone else's spot and just not show up anymore. So I flew back and forth and started in sales in Florida. And that's how I got into sales. And started with AT&T, and then Cisco, and then ADP and HubSpot and PepsiCo tech. So that's kind of how that journey started.

Leanna Laskey McGrath  9:23  

Wow, it's just so cool. Like you're like computer scientist by day at IBM and all these other big companies, and then a cheerleader salsa dancer. It's like you're an embodiment of STEAM, right, of the sciences and technology and the arts. And you know, with dancing, and I love that your motivation was to get free dance classes.

Erica Willie  9:50  

Even salsa dancing, like I want to go dancing, but I want to get better at it. And people don't realize when you are a cheerleader, you're an ambassador. And you may spend 30% of your time on the field cheering, but the majority of your time you're out and you're representing the brand, the franchise. Even still to this day, I am still involved with 49ers. I go and I do certain events, and I get to help out and be involved, just because of me being an ambassador, and being able to speak and connect with so many different types of people.

Leanna Laskey McGrath  10:26  

That's so interesting. So one of the things that is very prevalent throughout your adventures and your story is that kind of drive that you have to, like you said, Take a challenge and go full throttle, is the wording that you used. And you know, kind of just like taking everything to the next level. It's like, you aren't just like doing it. You're like, if I'm gonna go in, like, I'm gonna go in all the way and maximize it, which I know so many of our listeners can relate to as fellow high achievers. So I'm curious, like, how does that orientation for you both serve you and help you? What are the positives and negatives? I guess is what I'm curious about for you.

Erica Willie  11:10  

Yeah, I think it helps me, because I have so many stories of when I've tried something, failed, tried again, failed, and then kept trying and won. And so sometimes, when it feels impossible, I can dig deep and say, Hey, you did it before. You can do it again. Or, you know, surrounding myself with a lot of different friends and women who are risk takers and they tried. I'm like, Okay, if this person, if they can do it, that I can do it, they're not Superman. They have the same amount of hours of the day that I have. So I think just that resilience, just understanding that it takes hard work, it's not instant. I've done it before, I can dig back and then do it again. I think that has helped me. I think the drive sometimes you can take on too much, and you can be really hard on yourself. I know we do that as moms and women. I mean, we can do it all, but sometimes it doesn't show up right away. Maybe I can use an easy example, like, just say weight gain, like, you know, back in the day, you can say, oh, I can exercise for 20-30, days and be back, you know, like before, and sometimes you dig deep and say, All right, I did this. Then this should happen, you know, based off of what I used to do. And sometimes it doesn't happen that way all the time, and sometimes you have to do a little bit more. And so it can be a little discouraging when you're very ambitious, and it doesn't work out in like how it used to do, how it used to be easier to to reach a certain goal. So that comes with, you know, your life is a little different. You know, you have, you have less time, you have more things pulling at you as a mom, so that can be a little challenging.

Leanna Laskey McGrath  12:52  

Mm, hmm, yeah, so I'm hearing you say, kind of like the resilience, like, it's really helped you with resilience. And just to, like, not give up, and just know that failure is part of the journey of and you keep going. And how do you do that? Like, how do you keep going? Like, you gave the example of you see other people doing it, and I think that that's so important. Like, surrounding yourself with people who are doing big things, or people are, you know, who inspire you, but any other ways that you have found to be able to keep going and not get discouraged? And because, I think sometimes, you know, we experience failure, especially as high achievers, it's like we experience failure and we're like, crushed by it, and feel like we can't keep going. And so how do you keep going? Like, how do you pick yourself back up and try again?

Erica Willie  13:41  

In my experience, one of my good friends, her name is Esther Iran Day. I love her. She used to be a cheerleader as well. She's in tech, but I remember her telling me that it's a muscle. So even trying hard as a muscle, if you don't use it, it's weak. So you have to keep trying and keep trying and get better and get stronger at that thing, and then you'll get better at it. So I think I am more terrified at not trying something. And, like, 20 years later, I said, Oh my gosh, I should have, could have, would have. I think that terrifies me more than failing. And also, failing to me is not as scary. I think failing to me is more never starting. So like, try and it may not work out, but to me, that's not failing, trying and trying and trying, that is considered getting better and stronger, working, like at something. So I think that's how I push through that, thinking about if you don't do it, then that's failing, but if you try to do it then you're getting better at something.

Leanna Laskey McGrath  14:43  

Yeah, I love that, because it's like, you're redefining failure. We talk so much about redefining success, but you're talking about redefining failure, which I think is so important. You know, it's like, no, actually, if I don't succeed at that thing, that's not failure, like a bigger failure would be if I didn't try it in the first place.

Erica Willie  15:03  

I agree. Yeah.

Leanna Laskey McGrath  15:04  

 I love that perspective and kind of rethinking that. And then you talked about how a challenge can be that you might take on a little bit too much. So how does that show up? Tell me more about that.

Erica Willie  15:16  

Like the octopus, mom, arms, you're like, I can take all these groceries in trips. I can take it all in. I want to take everything, and then a bag drops and everything, all the eggs break. But that can show up for me personally. If I have like five things on my to do list, and I can tell you how I'm getting better at that, but I'll have like five things I need to do probably cannot really be done realistically in a day, but I think I can do it. I want to do it because they have to get done, and then they don't get done, and then you're so mad at yourself, and you're upset at yourself, and I get really down on myself for not completing something I have been trying to do. I follow another podcast. It's like, I mean, it's not her original idea, but calendar everything, block everything out to give you a real give me a realistic view of the day, like Erica, really, this takes you five hours to do. How do you expect to do this in 15 minutes? You know, just being realistic with myself and putting stuff on my calendar versus a to do list. That has helped me out. But I get really down on myself, and I know we probably share that like we want to do it all in one day. So that is something that I am, you know, trying to work on every single day.

Leanna Laskey McGrath  16:31  

Yeah, I've heard that reframed as optimistic.

Erica Willie  16:36  

I like that.

Leanna Laskey McGrath  16:37  

That we can be very optimistic about how fast we can do something with when a task that just takes a human five hours to do, we're like, yeah, 15 minutes. No problem. And then the other thing I heard you talk about is how our bodies are changing as we age, I guess is kind of like what I'm hearing you say about, you know, I used to be able to work out for 28 days and be at whatever weight that I would want, and it doesn't work that way anymore in your 40s, after three kids, however many kids we have, right? And so tell me more about that, or your thoughts on that.

Erica Willie  17:19  

My thoughts on weight or working out, or my thoughts on just, you know, being able to do things you used to do. 

Leanna Laskey McGrath  17:26  

Well, I think to me, when I think about this, it's kind of like there are some physical limitations. And then I think sometimes, like we have thoughts about that. And, you know, we can have thoughts of, like, acceptance or resistance, or anywhere along that spectrum, right, of like, no, if I could do this in 28 days, 10 years ago or 20 years ago, I should still be able to do it. Or like, okay, it used to take me that long. Now it's gonna take me this long. Or okay, like, what was possible in the past, like the end result that was possible in the past, I need to re examine what that looks like now, because, like, maybe that's not possible. So I guess I'm just curious, like, your experience with it, or what that looks like. Is it really hard? Or is it like, Yeah, this is just part of life.

Erica Willie  18:16  

Yeah, huh. That's a good question. I can give you a really good example, a story of how it really showed up the very first time. So I got pregnant my my first child, and I moved to Jacksonville, like I said, in sales. I started in sales in Jacksonville. I did not start out in tech sales. In order to get in tech sales, it really doesn't matter if you have a background in engineering. It really matters if you have background in sales, you you know you worked in the tech space. I didn't have any background in in sales at all. So I started with AT&T, and then I got a position with another company, a tech company, and I remember me wanting to prove myself so much. And I was pregnant, and before I had issues, my husband, I were trying, and it didn't happen right away, so we kind of sought out some fertility things, and it didn't work. And anyway, we were just minding our business, and we got pregnant. So I was, like, a little nervous, my first child, and you don't have to tell your anyone, especially in your first trimester, right? You're a little nervous. I got a job during that time, and I'm like, you know, I was grappling with, should I tell them I'm pregnant, but I don't really know if I am going to be successful. So I didn't say anything, because I got a lot of advice to say, don't say anything right now. Was really early, and then, so I joined a team all corporate rose, and I wanted to compete so bad, I wanted to be the first one in the office and the last one to leave. I was pregnant, and I started fainting. 

Erica Willie  19:47  

I remember going into the office. I was in an elevator by myself early because I wanted to be the first one out. Found myself on the ground, and I'm like, Oh my gosh, how did I – 0I'm fainting? And then it kept happening. I was maybe six months pregnant at this time. And my doctor was like, All right, Erica, this is unsafe. You cannot drive because you can drive and faint, especially myself, a real, you know, too hard normally, how I can normally push myself, especially in sales, you want to, you want to kill it. And it was just I was pushing myself beyond my boundaries. Physically could not do it. And so that was my first sign to, like, stop and say, Hey, Erica, you're not in the space and same body that you were before. And that same lesson, that was an early lesson for me to say, all right, be thankful for where you are now. We are where you're supposed to be. Need to take care of this body of yours. 

Erica Willie  20:35  

And so I use that same mantra, like, I like we kind of talked about having, you know, kids and being able to snap back. I hate that word. I hate saying snap back, but just being thankful in the space like, oh my gosh, I'm a mom. I get to be a mom like, that is nothing I take for granted. So just circling back and realizing, like, the gifts that you get to live with, and being thankful for that, versus being where you used to be, there's a new blessing in the now with the gifts that you got. Like, this is what you asked for, this is what you asked for. And I have what I asked for, what I prayed for. So I think just being thankful in the moment kind of helps me not be so hard on myself when I can't push myself like I used to, or what I used to be able to do, because now I'm in a place that I asked to be, and I, you know, dreamt of, and so that doesn't come with, you know, if I want to be where I used to be, maybe I wouldn't have three daughters just trying to be thankful in the space that I am that is very helpful to me.

Leanna Laskey McGrath  21:36  

Yeah, you know, what I love about that is, I think that so often when we ask for, dream for, pray for things, we expect that it's an and like that, that we get to keep everything that we have right now and then add this. And I think that we often don't realize that there are just trade offs for everything. Like when we ask for, hope for, dream for, pray for a long life, we don't think about what that means, right? Like, we don't think about that another decade means, like, another decade of wear and tear on our bodies. You know, our bodies evolving and kind of us losing muscle mass or bone density or things like that, right? But it's like, we just only look at the good parts of it, like, and that's what we want, yeah? And we don't think about the other side of it.

Erica Willie  22:36  

 Yeah. I totally agree with that. 

Leanna Laskey McGrath  22:38  

Yeah. It makes me think of working motherhood, because it's very much like we think it should be both and all the time, right? Like we should be able to show up to your point, like we used to be able to. We should be able to be the first in the office and last out, and also grow another human with our bodies.

Erica Willie  22:38  

Right.

Leanna Laskey McGrath  22:41  

Right? All at the same time we hold ourselves to those standards. And I don't mean that to say that that's like a personal failing, that's like a societal thing, right? Like we are expected to work like we don't have children, and to raise children like we don't work. And so it's so important for us to acknowledge both individually and societally, right? That like there's trade offs we just can't physically be but it but it is. It's hard to accept that I can't do what I used to do anymore.

Erica Willie  23:33  

Yeah, no, that's I feel like with working and thinking about working like you don't have children, and that pressure I remember, and probably the hardest part of my career, so we, you know, we talk about, like, right now, DEI is super in the forefront for all working workspaces. And I remember being in tech, and I don't remember feeling any type of overt discrimination as far as me being young or me being black or me being a woman, I didn't feel that. But when I became a mom, I felt that, and I recently, I'm getting over that little insecurity about being a mom in the tech space, in sales, enterprise sales, you know, how like, intense that is, and how much you have to be on and available and and sometimes that that doesn't pair well. And, you know, I remember not being able to wanting to share that, because I felt like that was a hindrance, because, oh, she has to show up for her kids. And so when I fainted, that was an insecurity that I started having. I was trying, I was kind of hiding motherhood a little bit from, you know, my peers, and so that's something that I kind of had to get over and really dig deep and realize, that is actually my superpower. It made me bolder. Once I let people know, like I'm a mom, I lightened up. People can see the light in me when I talk about my kids, and it made me more efficient and more empathetic. And that's kind of like everything I've built, like my business, nonprofit, my brand, it all has roots, and the lessons that I have learned from being a mom, that is the root of it all, and so now I look at it as my superpower. But, like, to your point, it was kind of stressful, you know, when I first became a mom, and that was like a little insecurity to me that I've never had, like, I've always been very overly confident in all the things. But that was one insecurity that I had to push through and dig deep.

Leanna Laskey McGrath  25:40  

Yeah. Well, I love this because I think that so many of us high achievers, it's like, we believe our superpower is being able to outwork anybody else, like we trust ourselves, that we know that we can put in whatever we need to do to excel, to get to the top right. It's like, yeah, I can transition from being in an tech role into a sales role, and I'm not gonna have a problem with it, because I know myself. I know right, like, you know that you're gonna do whatever it takes to make sure that you succeed in that, I think a lot of times is like what we believe our superpower is. And so I want to pause here and talk more next week and hear more from you about how you shifted to embracing motherhood as your superpower. And I want to learn all about what you're doing now and the nonprofits that you're building. And thank you so much, Erica, this has been so fun, and I can't wait to talk to you next week and hear more about where you're at now, and I hope everybody who's listening will join us next week. 

Erica Willie  26:47  

Thank you, Leanna, talk to you soon.

Leanna Laskey McGrath  26:49  

All right, thanks, everyone. Have a good week. Bye, bye. 

Leanna Laskey McGrath  26:52  

If you're loving what you're learning on this podcast, I'd love to invite you to check out The Executive Mom Reset. It's my six month coaching program for ambitious, success driven, career focused women who are ready to stop surviving and start thriving. Together, we'll tackle the stress, guilt and overwhelm that come with being a high achieving executive mom. You'll learn how to set boundaries, prioritize what truly matters, and build the confidence to show up powerfully at work, at home, and for yourself. Head on over to coachleanna.com right now to schedule a free discovery call. We'll spend an hour talking about where you are now, what you want to create, and how I can help you get there, because every woman deserves to live the life of her dreams. Let's create yours together.