New Year, Real You: Strategies for Intentional Goal Setting

Leanna Laskey McGrath  0:08  

Welcome to the executive coach for moms podcast where we support women who are attempting to find balance and joy, while simultaneously leading people at work and at home. I'm your host Leanna Laskey McGrath, former tech exec turned full time mom, recovering perfectionist and workaholic, and certified executive coach.

Leanna Laskey McGrath  0:30  

Hi, everyone. Welcome back to the show. And welcome to 2024. Thanks so much for joining me today. And today, on this first episode, on a Thursday of 2024, I want to talk a little bit about goal setting for the new year. Because I think that we tend to get like super overzealous about, it's a new year, it's a fresh start. And I can set all these goals and accomplish all these things. And then we tend to kind of like get overwhelmed, and it doesn't work out. And the other thing that we often tend to do is that we expect ourselves to become a completely different person when the year changes. So we have never gotten up at 6am consistently in our lives. But suddenly on January 1, we are doing it or maybe January 2, we are going to do it. And we are getting up every morning. And as soon as we wake up, we're going to go work out we're going to do our meditations, we're going to do our journal and reflection. And we're going to follow that pattern every day, for the entire year is kind of like what we imagine. And I don't know about you, if this happens for everybody else, because I've done this like a million times. But for probably many, many years up until the last few where I think I'm going to do it, and I'm gonna stick to it. And then I don't. I stick to it for a while, and then something comes up and I don't and then I get frustrated with myself and think I'm, you know, a failure, I can't stick to anything, that kind of thing, right? Like all those thoughts come up. Again, not in the last few years. But before I did a lot of work on this, this was kind of my pattern. And so I think that it's super common for us to do this, to just expect that we're going to be a totally different person, 

Leanna Laskey McGrath  2:42  

One of my favorite podcasts, we can do hard things, had an episode called New Year, same you, because we have so much marketing out there saying New Year New you again, it's like we believe we're gonna wake up and be a totally different person in the new year, and be able to accomplish goals and do things that we've never done before. And I'm not saying it's not possible. But the reality is, is that we're still the same person, when we wake up on January 1, we still have the same thoughts and tendencies, unless we are working to consciously change them. They just don't just like change overnight. So I think that's an important thing to remember. Because I think, like I said, we end up being so hard on ourselves, whenever we don't stick to these goals that we set for ourselves and these patterns that we're expecting ourselves to do, even though we have no evidence to support that we are going to stick to these patterns. 

Leanna Laskey McGrath  3:40  

So all that to say that I want to talk a little bit about another way of goal setting for the new year because I do love kind of the fresh start to the new year. This is a big reason why I wanted to do the January Reset this year, just to kind of start the year strong because I do love that. And I think that for me, at least what I have found is that setting bigger kind of overarching goals tends to work better for me than trying to set like a daily thing that I'm going to stick to and like be really diligent about every day. And then, you know, kind of like, apply my all or nothing thinking to it. And I'm either doing it all the way or not doing it at all. 

Leanna Laskey McGrath  4:29  

So I want to share the first time I did this was in 2017. And I had three very big and tangible goals that year. And my husband and I sat down and I shared them with him. We talked about it and talked about his goals as well. And it really helped to kind of helped me to set priorities for the year. So in 2017 the three goals I set were that I wanted to complete my first triathlon. I had never done one. And I just always had this idea in my mind that I wanted to do triathlons. So I signed up for a team, and I registered for a sprint triathlon in April. And I had started training in November, but I was like really committed to completing my first triathlon.

Leanna Laskey McGrath  5:29  

And then secondly, this is 2017 is when I was doing my coach training. And so it was a six month program that started in March. And so my goal for the year was to complete that program successfully, which meant I had to be observed by a mentor coach and had all these different requirements. But it was to complete that. And then the third was to get pregnant, which I laugh about it now, just because I think that whenever we have children, or try to have children, it is kind of like maybe our first big realization that we don't have control over everything. So I set this goal to get pregnant. And we had been trying for a couple of years already. But I don't know, we weren't like superduper serious about it. I think we had just started seeing a reproductive endocrinologist at that point. And so it was like, All right, we're doing this. We're all in. And we were on the same page about that. 

Leanna Laskey McGrath  6:32  

And even though that did not end up happening in 2017, what having the goals allowed us to do was to make better decisions that aligned with our priorities. So a couple examples of that. When I had to make decisions about how to spend my time in terms of triathlon training, versus other things, I would just kind of go back to like, what are my goals for this year? One of them is to complete a triathlon. So am I going to go to swim practice today? Or am I going to sleep in? Am I going to go to track practice tomorrow night? Or am I going to go get drinks with my friends. And so it didn't mean all or nothing, I had to always choose it. It just meant that I was making those decisions with that overarching goal in mind knowing that this was a priority that I had set for the year. And so therefore, if I did choose to go and get drinks with my friends, then it kind of allowed me to just check in like is that helping me achieve my goals for the year is that in alignment with my priorities for the year.

Leanna Laskey McGrath  7:46  

And then another example is, so like I mentioned, we had intended to get pregnant that year. And that wasn't happening. But we had a trip plan to Mexico. And we were super excited about it, we were seeing this brand new all inclusive resort that included massages, that's all I remember about it just that I had literally booked massages for us every day, because it was included in our room rate. And we were so excited about it. And then we met with our RE and she was like, you can't go to Mexico with Zika as a thing right now, I don't know if you'll remember Zika. But it was like if a mosquito bit you while you're pregnant, then terrible things would happen to your unborn baby. I think I don't even remember all the details. But basically, we had to make a decision. Because, you know, we had booked this trip to Mexico, we were really excited about it. And it was just a few weeks away that we had met with our RE and mentioned it. So we ended up opting not to go on that trip. Because when we looked at what are our priorities for this year, it didn't align it didn't help us to get to our goals. And so not that I'm happy about that decision at all. Because, I mean, we had a lovely trip to Santa Barbara instead. But I would have loved still to go get a massage every day. It was really empowering to just be very clear about what are our goals and what are our priorities. And that's going to help guide how we make our decisions. 

Leanna Laskey McGrath  9:30  

What I ended up doing is partway through the year whenever it wasn't happening for us in terms of having a baby and my coaching program was starting to get closer to the end. I altered my goals a little bit so I kind of did a mid year check in and so around June or so, we looked at it and decided that I was at a company that we had sold and I was ready to depart. But I didn't know what I wanted to do next. And so I decided I was going to start a coaching business. And so I kind of shifted that third goal of it, the second and third goals of it. And I made a new goal of starting a business, and quitting my job walking away from the job that I had held for the past decade and starting my own coaching business. And so I also think it's important just to make sure that we allow ourselves some room to check in and reset our goals if our priorities change, or if circumstances are impacting what we're able to do or not able to do. Because, unfortunately, at that time didn't have an impact on biology. And so not that we stopped trying, but we decided to shift our focus a little bit more to setting me up for leaving my full time job and starting a business in q4. So just be open to reassessing priorities. So I'm sharing that because I thought it was a really helpful framework for me to get some things done, like some very tangible things done in a year that were big goals for me. And it just helped so much to help me to see clearly for the year. And I've done this every year since. But I think that was the first year. And so it had the biggest impact on me because it really just shifted how we made decisions, and kind of just how I looked at things. 

Leanna Laskey McGrath  11:43  

So for 2024, if you are considering setting some big goals, or maybe you already have, what I would recommend is sticking to two or three. There's that famous Bill Gates quote that says we always overestimate what we can do in a year and underestimate what we can do in 10 years. So I don't think there's anything wrong with setting a big goal. I don't think there's anything wrong with not meeting it, we get to decide what that means. And so I am not saying don't set a lot of goals, I just think that you're much more likely to achieve your goals if you have just a few at a time, one two or three at a time, because otherwise it just gets too overwhelming and hard to prioritize because you're like wait but you know you have more areas where things can come into conflict with each other whenever you're having to make decisions and choose your priorities. So I would just stick to two or three max. And then of course, you can always reprioritize I did my first triathlon that year in April. So if I felt like I needed a new goal, like a new fitness goal or something like that, I could have said that I instead chose to focus more on shifting my focus to the business. But whatever you want to do, just know that you can do it, you can always change it, it's your life, you get to choose it don't be tied to something that previous you created and thought that you wanted if you've changed your mind and your priorities. 

Leanna Laskey McGrath  13:16  

So for 2024 I have set two big goals at the moment, I have some other smaller things. But right now, these are the two that I am choosing to focus on. One is that I am going to complete a triathlon this year. I had hip surgery in August of 2023. And so I have been rehabbing my hip has been a big, big focus of 2023, Q3 and Q4 and has taken a lot a lot a lot of my time and energy. So here in 2024, I need to continue my rehab and also train so I've started swim training. And then next I'll start bike training and then strength training and run training. So I'm really excited about that. And also a little bit nervous about it too because I haven't actually done a triathlon since my daughter was born. Almost five years ago now. I had trained the year that I ended up getting pregnant in 2018. And I was like Charlotte on Sex in the City because it took so long for us to get pregnant. I was so nervous that I was going to do something to cause problems in the pregnancy. So I didn't do a whole lot of physical activity beyond yoga, and I wish I had and I highly recommend it to anyone who is pregnant. But I my goal for 2018 was to complete a race a month whether it was a triathlon or like a 5k. I like shorter distances. And I was on track to complete that until I got pregnant. And so probably part of the reason that I did get pregnant is because I was in probably the best shape of my life, or the best shape of my adult life, I should say. But then again, priorities shifted there. But it's been a long time since I've done a triathlon. So I'm really excited and nervous about doing it this year. 

Leanna Laskey McGrath  15:17  

And then my second goal is to expand my business. And so I have some tangible goals around that around my revenue and around my programs that I'm going to be offering honestly, I'm really excited about 2024. Because I just remember how exciting 2017 was and how clear I was, and how simple it was to prioritize whenever I had those goals. So might be a little bit more complicated with a child now. I can't just get up and go run, bike, swim, do any kind of workout anytime I want a lot more coordination involved in that. I can't just work whenever I want. But new challenges help us to grow. Right. So that is what I wanted to share with you is kind of what I'm looking at for my goals for 2024. My framework for goal setting for the year. And I just love this framework. And so I would encourage you to try it. Or if you have found a great framework that you love for how you choose to set goals for the year, let me know I would love to hear it and share it. 

Leanna Laskey McGrath  16:35  

I also just listened to a great podcast episode from Emily Siegel from the connected mom life. She was on the podcast a few months ago. And she shared about her framework look back reflections. So reflections on the past year. And that actually did it. And I recommend doing it. If you haven't done it yet. I know it's hard to kind of know that we're in the new year to kind of look back. But I do think it's a really good practice to kind of look back and just reflect on like, what went well, what didn't go as well. What do you want to do differently in the new year? That kind of thing. She has some five great questions that she asks to look back on the previous year that just happened. And I think that that's really helpful too, in setting goals for the upcoming year, and setting priorities and just figuring out like what's most important to you and just checking in on like, am I living my life the way that I want to live it? 

Leanna Laskey McGrath  17:38  

I think that's what this is all about is just making sure that we are intentionally creating our lives in ways that we are going to be happy with so that at the end of our lives, we can look back and say, Yeah, I did what I wanted to do. I live the way I wanted to live, obviously not perfectly, because nobody can say that. But overall, it was the experience that I wanted to have. And so whenever we take some time to reflect on what's happened in the past, and to set our goals and intentions for the future. That's how we create lives that we love to live. So I am wishing you a wonderful 2024 And I just hope that you are in love with whatever goals you have for this year. I am so excited about mine. Have a great week, everyone. I'll talk to you next week. Thanks

Leanna Laskey McGrath  18:35  

Thanks so much for tuning in to the executive coach for moms podcast. Please like subscribe or follow the show so you'll be notified when the next episode is available. I hope you'll join me again next time. Take care

Transcribed by https://otter.ai